The diary of a hesitant dream
by shura-aura
Summary: It's all began as a coincidence... as they thought...
1. Prelude

The diary of a hesitant dream

When a man finds out that his love won't come back…it goes beyond his reach…

When a guy holds nothing but grudge towards his society…

When a girl torn between her past life and her present…

When the one want to avenge for his lost sister…

When the fate paved the road for all these characters to meet under strange encounters…

and brought them together…

Riko wrote you her feelings with the strange encounters that changed her life upside down.

A diary full of tears…farewells…dreams…dramas…and love!


	2. Diary 1: Rain … brought us together!

Diary 1: Rain … brought us together!

"I'm going insane!" a young girl with brown silky hair shouted as she sat on her knees. Desperation was all written on her fair face. She inhaled and exhaled slowly to gather the least hope she had before completely given up the mission she started by her own.

" _I have to find it…no matter what…_ " she whispered faintly while searching in between the trees getting her dress dirty without giving it much attention.

The hope she gathered minute ago, disappeared within a blink of an eye. " _Mom_ …" she paused the searching with a gloomy face. All of a sudden, the sky enlightened with a thunderbolt that frightened her. "O! not now!" she sat closing her ears and eyes in fear. "why do I have bad luck? _ah_!" she exclaimed with a tear clinging on her right eye.

At that moment, it was like if the sky felt her sadness, and the later shed tears to no end…it was pouring on her as if the sky crying with her. " _I failed once again…once again, I failed…_ " she thought grievously and her tears got mix with the raindrops…

" _I've to return_ …" she wiped her tears gently and walked aimlessly to get out of the forest.

The rain wasn't supportive at all. It was hitting her and wetting her to no end, yet she was walking in pain. Nothing hurt her like the lost of that item. No matter how many times she came to the forest to find it, the result will be the same: failure.

What a grieve moment when you are clinging to the hope and pushing yourself to believe the lie…that if you believe, you'll find your path. No matter how many times she followed her heart, she end up disappointing herself as well as her heart.

" _Mom, I'm sorry_ …" she said in despair. As if she has lost everything.

Out of the blue, something caught her eyes and cut her train of thoughts. She froze upon seeing two guys; one carrying the other while the later was wounded. She gulped fear ate her up. _What should I do_? Thinking if she could be in any help for them. While pausing her steps, staring at them endlessly, she heard the waking guy shouting…

" ** _Senpai_** , **please** …please pull yourself together, we're almost there!"

Under the unmerciful rain, the three of them were soaking carelessly. Stopping her thoughts to sink deeply within her, she finally moved her legs and slowly started to run till she held the injured guy arm and encircled it around her neck.

"let me help you," didn't care much of the shocking expression the other guy had, she said what she wanted to do.

Pushing the door of a small cottage placed in the middle of the forest. Doubt was ringing in her heart; nevertheless she helped putting the injured guy on his bed, blood covering his upper half of his body.

The only thing she knew since she saw them was _fear_!

Fear of the place, of the injured guy, fear of the blood. She breathed in and out in _fear_. She frowned biting her lips in anxiety. She has totally no experience in dealing with wounds like that. _What should I do_?

" ** _Senpai_** ,"

Hearing the pleading voice of the young guy made her come back to her sense.

"there is no time to cry, bring the first aid quickly!" trying to compose herself and to show nothing but control over the incident.

Forgetting about her existing, the young black hair guy with goggled on his head, turned to see the source of the voice. Without much conversation he nodded and brought her what she wanted.

"first of all, we should take off his shirt. Help me."

"sure!"

She gently grabbed his arms and pulled him to take a sit position, while the goggled guy took off his shirt. She saw his face for the first in _details_ , the pain, the unconsciousness… but something within tickles her that she had met this guy before. She dozed for a bit but composed herself quickly. He was totally unconscious which made her sympathize with him even more. _Do I know you_? Thought pushed thought in this instant moment.

"he was attacked on his back." He confirmed the place where his _Senpai_ was wounded.

"then, let's lay him on his abdomen."

"yes,"

She froze, the scene before her was beyond her ability to handle. _What happened to him_? The pausing body of her caught the goggled guy's attention.

"stop the bleeding please!"

His voice broke the freezing wall that she build minute ago.

( _that was my first time seeing a burning scar. It was so horrible that I couldn't move a bit, I couldn't even let my emotions come to the surface yet…I do sympathize him, but, why after seeing such thing…that kind of emotion, disappeared? I'm really weird!)_

"take this," the goggled guy gave her towel after curing his senpai. " _thanks_ ," she replied most likely talking to herself.

"are you ok?"

"yeah, don't worry. I hope he'll get well soon."

With no more delay, the goggled guy lit up the fire in the chimney with careful hands. "it's still raining outside, for the time being, let's get our bodies warm." She responded with a smile and sat next to the fire warming her body down.

"by the way, what's your name?" he asked out of the blue.

"ah…my name? Neko…call me Riko!" his question shook her upside down with hesitant voice she preferred to go with her given name!

"I'm Gareki. And my Senpai name is Toushiro. Hijikata Toushiro. Thank you so much, you really saved him. I didn't know what to do if you weren't around."

 _Hijikata Toushiro…Toushiro, his name is…._

"don't be polite. You have to rest, your face is too pale."

"I'll take care of him."

"don't worry I won't leave, I'll take care of him."

" _I'm sorry_ …"

"please, don't! go rest yourself a bit"

Laying on the bed on the other side of the cottage, Gareki was gazing Riko before entering his rest zone.

"Gareki-kun…" suddenly, Riko uttered interrupting the guy's sleep.

" _what_ …" he replied while his eyes were half opened.

"can I ask you…why haven't you introduced your full name?"

"what about you then?" with his eyes full opened, Gareki said most likely run around the bush.

Riko stuttered for a bit, trying to find a sane answer to him, but he quickly cut her thought…

"I don't care really whether you say it or not, as for me…" Gareki paused, closing his eyes, indicating that the next sentence is the final words he would say to her. " _I don't want to be related to anyone_ …"

" _eh_ …?" frowning in shock…

( _Gareki's answer shocked me. Was I hearing him wrong? He doesn't want to be related to anyone. I wonder why, what happened to him? Saying such thing in a painful voice isn't easy to hear…and absolutely isn't easy to ignore_ …)

The painful voice of Gareki made her think twice about his way of thinking, why is he so closed to himself. Didn't want to be related…means no other but to isolate yourself from your family, your community. Means you don't want to get attached to anyone, most probably of the _fear_ of rejection! The painful voice is like a soft melody, digs deeply into your heart and makes its way to your curiosity…

" _Gareki-kun_ …"

She sighs, getting back to her normal self. Trying to focus on the injured guy. She brought the chair next to Toushiro's bed and started to stare at him. She unknowingly held his hand when he moved his fingers a little bit. She was extremely worried about him.

"GAREKI!" a scream escaped Toushiro's mouth that made his face shrink and the color of it changed. The fluctuation of his chest said it; he was seeing a nightmare. He tried to sit but Riko's hand stopped him by putting her hand on his shoulders.

The shock on Toushiro's face didn't really surprised Riko, she was prepared for it.

"where's Gareki?"

"sleeping soundly there," she moved a little bit to let the view range for Toushiro wide. He sighed in satisfaction.

"who are you?" after scanning her face, Toushiro asked in bothersome tone.

"Riko, I coincidently came across your cottage and helped Gareki-kun to heal your wound…so please don't stress yourself."

"Nekozawa?" after observing her for awhile, he witnessed the cameo that held the Nekozawa's seal in it.

"eh.." she followed his gaze and absent mindedly looked at the cameo on her dress. _He figured it out_ … she frowned in frustration.


End file.
